im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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