just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize