you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
