you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
