Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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