I'm eating all of the evidence.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
