can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
