Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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