I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Randomize
