I wish my penis had an off switch
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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