And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
