We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
