I can text with my tongue
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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