you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic