when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"