Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
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