Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay