she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
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he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
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I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.