Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
