No awkward lesbian experiences without me
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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