did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
