A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
At least life still wants to fuck me.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
