thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'm bleeding and have questions
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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