Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
the night ended with taco bell and tears
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
