saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Shitshow foam night was such a success
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
