Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Randomize
