The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
