I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
