is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
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I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
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Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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