The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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