Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Tell her she can't have a vagina
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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