I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
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