I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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