google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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