It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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