dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
