she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.