I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
i just google imaged poop.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…