My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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