there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
