My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize