Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize