I wish you could order shots online.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
