using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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