she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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