I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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