i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
