I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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