dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
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