he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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