Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
