take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
