Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
