I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
My feet surprised me
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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