this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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