Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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