the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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