I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
