he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Everclear isn't food dammit
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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