I'm so fucking centered right now
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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