Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
