I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize