Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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