We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
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