we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
